The fine gentleman who drops off fresh produce on the back stoop left this:

Naturally, like any proud parent, I hung it on his fridge.
18th-century recipe and 180 days to see if it works
I have calmed down a bit, cheesepuff is looking well. (A little lop-sided, but who am I to pass judgment.) I took him back to the O.R. and it was an intense hour and a half. After taking the bandages off it looks like he is going to make it. His insides are where they belong and besides a little drying out at the top, he still smells like salt marsh and hopefully will make a full recovery.
I set to work re-bandaging him, slowly this time. I employed the “mummy” method of adding extra strips across his top and sides to secure the muslin to his body, then slathered him in lard. Hopefully it will keep out air and mold and he will be able to make it to a ripe old age.
Cheesie was not looking well this afternoon; he was leaning to the side. I acted fast, rushed him downstairs to the operating room (aka the kitchen). After removing his bandages I saw the situation was worse than I thought… he has a hernia! His side has a crack and his middle was pushing out. (I was too upset to photograph, so just use your imagination here.)
At first I thought I could repair him, but his innies kept becoming outties. I re-wrapped him up, and returned him to his straw bed to rest, on his wound. Fingers crossed he will be alright in the morning.
He has started weeping. Four little beads of light-yellow water have formed around his middle. I am not really sure what this means or how to make it stop. (I have consulted a cheese expert and am anxiously awaiting a response.)
I was a little worried about the humidity level. For the cheeseman to grow up sharp and strong he needs at least 80-90% humidity. Some fine folks in